andrew
It’s finally here. You’ve waited 365 grueling days for this, and we know you’ve marked your calendar.
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Because you know . . .
And it’s time to scream this at the top of your lungs every time you get the chance:
You can finally reunite with the three hocus pocus sisters you know and love so well.
. . . with a little bit of peace and quiet.
Not like you need anymore reasons, but let’s revisit why Hocus Pocus is—hands down—the best and most influential Halloween movie ever. Here it goes.
1. Because Sarah Jessica Parker has never played a better or more fabulous role than Sarah Sanderson.
And every line that came out of her beautiful mouth was pure magic.
2. Same with Bette Midler as Winifred . . .
Honestly, can’t we relate to her every single morning in one way or another?
3. Because the movie taught us so many life things—like what a virgin is . . .
. . . and what “yabos” are . . .
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. . . and that the only chicks that stay out late are ugly.
4. It also helped us learn some proper anger management skills.
5. Sexy beauty tips
6. And probably the most important of all—who Ice is.
7. Because the older you get, the funnier all the dirty jokes become.
8. Because every time you flick a lighter now, you can’t help but to fear “the burning rain of death.”
9. Every time you pick up a book, no matter what type it is, you can’t help but yell this:
10. Because the movie had the king of all zombies before being dead was “in.”
11. Because you probably use the Winifred Sanderson bitch face 8 to 11 times a day.
12. Because you know every and any negative critic of Hocus Poocus could not have been more wrong:
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13. Because there are two types of chicks in this world: chicks who are in love with Thackery Binx . . .
Even more now that he stars on NCIS.
. . . . and the chicks who are forever crushing on Max Dennison.
Even if he’s “too cool” for Halloween.
Oh, yeah, and those people who get heart-shaped eyes over the skeleton-faced lead singer of the band at the costume party.
14. Because in one of those epic movie moments, a character says the movie’s title during the movie.
15. Because you know that dressing up as the Sanderson Sisters is the perfect costume for anyone, at any age, and for any race.
16. Because of these beautiful, infamous buck teeth.
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17. Because even though the movie was downright hilarious . . .
. . . and absolutely horrifying . . .
. . . it still, to this day, made you sob like a baby.
Now it’s time to bust out that old VHS tape!
Prepare your most bewitching singing voice.
And run amuck, amuck, amuck, amuck, amuck!
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